I’ve been advised to write things down… and this seemed like a way to go.
Having just returned to work having 5 weeks off with stress I am being really positive about my future. 5 weeks really that have been a catalyst to grab hold if a life that had been tumbling out of control for 18 months.
Work, affair, medication for depression… things felt bad but I had been so used to being successful in all aspects of my life that I was convinced I didn’t need to take time off to work it out. I was convinced my brain will be able to work this out without slowing down. I didn’t listen to the people around me and I ended up pretty much breaking.
I actually decided to take a day off, that was my plan. I would take a day off and tell no one in my personal life. Just take some time to reset and work everything out. That seemed sensible. I had a great morning and fell asleep. During the day. Never happens. But when I woke up I felt a bit better. I checked my phone to see messages asking for an urgent call. Out of character from about 3 friends. I call one of my best friends to hear that a close friend of ours has been arrested for murdering his wife, someone we had been with all day the day before. It hit me for six, as it did our entire close knit community. A catastrophe that many of us at the time and since thought we may have influenced if we had just said the right words in our time that day.
That led to me staying off… if I’m honest because I felt like I could be off without the embarrassment of admitting how bad the rest of my head felt. It’s something I should have done months before and since doing it and talking to others I realise it’s something I should never have been embarrassed about. It’s a sign of strength to take control of your thoughts and life, not weakness and sometimes that takes a bit of time out.
I’ve been advised to write and I plan to fairly regularly; about my bad times and the time since, about anything really I feel may help me. Hopefully it’ll help.